Hi. My name is Kimberly and I get jealous (a lot)!
**chorus – Hi Kim!**
It feels better to get that out. Confession is good for the soul!
Whilst I wouldn’t call it my friend, jealousy has definitely been a constant companion. More like an inappropriate friend-slash-stalker, always lurking, always nearby.
Jealousy, for me, centres around my (and others’) life stage. I’m single and childless – and not by choice or expectation. I am frequently jealous of the “coupledness” of others. I am jealous of the sense of belonging and connection they experience within marriage – they have their ‘person’. I am jealous that others go home from things with or to partners and families and I go home alone. I sometimes literally ache with the desire to be a mum – to be a little person’s person.
That’s the default of my unchecked, undisciplined thought life. I really love my life as it is now. I love the freedoms and opportunities that are mine to enjoy in this season. It’s why I choose to FIGHT the jealousy rather than let it embitter me. But it is a constant wrestle, a daily choice; a battle not always won.
I wonder what jealousy looks like for you – because it is different for us all. Are you jealous of others’ sporting abilities or musical skills? Their friendships, relationships or family-life? Their health, their appearance, their wealth, their holidays? Their spiritual walk, their faith, their wisdom? Their confidence, peace, joy or hope? Their popularity or funniness? Or even their ministry capacity and opportunities? Jealousy is a unique and personally tailored experience for us all. What pushes one person’s buttons may have absolutely no impact on another.
Jealousy isn’t the actual issue so much as what it reveals of what’s happening within us. When we feel jealous we can tend to look around us for the cause – to look to others to blame for how we are feeling. We can accuse others of seeking to make us feel jealous when the reality is that in the moment a scenario presents itself we have a choice as to how we’ll respond.
Jealousy is a warning bell. It is the red light flashing on our dash board to say something is needing our attention; it’s malfunctioning! In this blog series on JEALOUSY we’ll look at what the warning signal might be alerting us to (in 3 parts) and then what the cost of jealousy for us and those around us if we leave it unchecked or unchallenged.
So, some questions for reflection to start us off… What things trigger your jealousy response? When, where or how are you most readily aroused to jealousy?