I was recently out for birthday milkshakes with a little friend who had just turned 11. We share a love of all things birthday and were talking about that as we wandered the shops. Her main case for the joy of birthdays was that “Christmas and Easter are great but they’re about everybody, your birthday is just about you.” Good call.
I have 4 reasons I love birthdays.
- I get to be loved on by my friends and enjoy the affirmation and affection of others.
- I get to express my gratitude for the people who share my life.
- There is a chance to reflect on the year that has passed and acknowledge growth, change, successes experienced and challenges faced.
- It’s all fun and cake! There are special meals, outings, singing, and all the joy that comes with celebrating.
Every person gets that experience once a year. Birthdays are the best!
If you get married, you add two more celebrations to the calendar. Your spouse’s birthday and your wedding anniversary. Two extra opportunities to celebrate the above four things in your home.
And then, if you have a child you add three more annual celebrations. The child’s birthday, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Three extra opportunities to celebrate the changes in your home and life, to affirm your love and appreciation for one another, to give cause for a weekend away or a special dinner out; to eat cake and share joy. (And of course, extra birthdays with every additional bundle of joy.)
So, how do we reflect on that for the Single person?
At the very least, it probably could cause us to consider afresh the significance of a Single person’s birthday for them to both give and receive the affection, gratitude and celebration of another year of life together.
Perhaps it might also cause us to consider including Singles in celebrations where their place in other’s lives can be affirmed?
Think about the Singles in your world. What do you think this means for them? Maybe it’s worth some consideration or a conversation.
kimberly smith 
Sometimes feeling like not wanting to go out with a group because you know you will, again, be the only single there. My work Christmas night out is like that.
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After 15 years of marriage which ended last August, I had to organise my own 40th this year, and it was hard. Finding a venue, doing invites, buying and taking my own cake (and still getting jokingly mocked for not having candles) and probably most difficult was arriving and leaving on my own. I’ll definitely be mindful and on the lookout for other singles at their celebration times, because that’s not how it should be.
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Oh yeah. I can appreciate how hard that must have been. You did well to remember everything but the candles!
Thanks for sharing your experience. Maybe some of your friends will read this and get around you next year? 🙂
What a great response – to be more mindful of others yourself. I do think we get to advocate on one another’s behalf in these things to help non-Singles better understand.
K
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Great post. Singles and those married without kids can be overlooked and forgotten about. Include them. But also remember special days in their lives as well. In a private group for Christians without children (singles and married), many voiced a similar, unfortunate experience: Often they were invited to birthdays, graduations, and other landmarks or accomplishments for children of their friends. But their own birthday or special accomplishments (such as an impressive job promotion, or getting an advanced degree) were completely ignored. Many described birthdays alone, or getting a master’s degree and not receiving one card and no one attended their graduation. Etc.
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That’s a great point – elevating the other moments where celebration is possible (graduation, new job/home etc).
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