Click on the image for a lighthearted look at the single, the grief cycle … and weddings! 🙂
It was great to be at Moolap and Barrabool Hills Baptist Church on Sunday across all three of their services.
Seated in one of the services was a lady who had recently lost her husband … and when I say recently, I mean super recently … 4 days earlier! She was there with a girlfriend who had come to stay with her – clearly still in that numb state of shock and disbelief that can often accompany grief and loss. But they were both blown away by the sovereignty of God to have her sit under a message about the importance of community and family for the Single person. Her girlfriend was challenged to understand the new needs and challenges that were ahead of this newly widowed lady. They bought a copy of the book for them both to look at in the weeks and months to come.
What do you say to someone who is processing such grief and loss? She was so convinced of God’s timing and provision of this message (& the book) and we were able to agree and affirm that God clearly had her number. While everything else ahead of her is uncertain right now – she can be sure that God is right there with her in it.
You can listen to the message HERE
On Sunday I will officially become something I’ve been trying to avoid for many years -“that Single girl”.
It was over 8 years ago that God first spoke to me (prophetically through a ministry friend) about writing a book on Singleness and God’s family. For the first year or two after that the idea was spoken about as a bit of a joke – “when you write that book …” or “that’s a story for your book!”
Alongside my general propensity for procrastination, one of the reasons the project didn’t happen for so long is that I didn’t want to be “that Single girl”. I didn’t want my “life’s message” to be about singleness. I didn’t want to be some sort of singleness expert. Even as my experiences accumulated and my understanding of the Single life (mine and other’s) deepened and even as I saw (from both positive and negative examples) the significance of the interactions between Singles and the Church family – I didn’t want to be the one to champion or steward the message. If I’m going to be the “voice” of something couldn’t it be marriage or parenting or … or … underwater basket weaving!?!?! Anything but singleness!
Last year, God’s long-suffering and gentle prodding shifted gears and He came at me with a multi-fronted attack – “Write the book already!! Just do it!!” So, while I may be good at procrastinating and excuse-making, when it comes to wilful disobedience I’m no dummy! In fact, another friend prophetically declared it my “book of obedience” and as I followed God into the project He opened all the doors and His provision was generous and sure.
The book was published in March and has been seeping out to various individuals, leaders and churches since then. (Order your copy HERE) I am so encouraged by the feedback it’s received. God is using it to bless, encourage and challenge His family. I love that God works that way – He takes our humble offerings and breathes His Spirit of grace and truth into them and they bear fruit in the lives of His children and for His Kingdom purposes. And we get to participate with Him! It’s been such an exciting project to be part of.
But now, as I prepare for my first book-related speaking opportunity, I find myself needing to process a fresh wave of …well, I’m not exactly sure what it is. Grief? Disappointment? Resistance? I have to step on the platform and be “that Single girl”. You know, the one who is so Single she’s written a book about it!? While there are some potential positives to such a public declaration of singleness (my mum has long hoped for me to make my status part of my introduction anytime I’m speaking to a new audience) there’s a work to be done to sort through the “stuff” to get to a place of greater celebration and expectation.
I’ve rarely been as sure of God calling me to a specific assignment than I have been with this book. I am thoroughly convinced of the Church’s need to hear and respond to the message it contains. I am 100% committed to seeing this book reach the full intent for which God commissioned me to write it. But the reality is there’s a cost. There’s a surrendering required. There’s a setting aside of my own agenda, pride, embarrassment, or disappointment in order to free my hands to embrace all that these opportunities will no doubt contain.
So I will be “that Single girl” …and anything else He would ask me to be … trusting His timing, being confident in His calling. Even if I’d have chosen something else, I know He has chosen me for this and this for me.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
It continues with quite a list … including a time to be born and a time to die, a time to scatter and a time to gather, a time to search and a time to give up. And then concludes in verse 11 by saying “He has made everything beautiful in His time.”
There is a time for everything. God has ordered the changes in the physical world and He also orders them in OUR world. There is a time for sleeping in and a time for sleepless nights. There is a time for travelling and a time for staying around home. There is a time to spend and a time to save (or scrape by). There are times of deep grief and times of great rejoicing. There are seasons of relative ease and times of seemingly perpetual struggle. Continue reading
Last year my friend and I got Gold Class movie tickets as a Christmas gift. We got ourselves settled into the comfy couches (DO NOT go when you are tired unless you’re just wanting to pay for a nap – waaaay too cozy!) and took a selfie – as you do – and checked-in online, tagging the friend that had given us the tickets so they could see us enjoying them.
A friend of mine, married with two adorable kiddies, posted on the picture saying “oh to be single again”!
Ok, firstly, pretty sure married people are allowed to go to the movies too! But that’s beside the point. Continue reading
Hi. My name is Kimberly and I get jealous (a lot)!
**chorus – Hi Kim!**
It feels better to get that out. Confession is good for the soul!
Whilst I wouldn’t call it my friend, jealousy has definitely been a constant companion. More like an inappropriate friend-slash-stalker, always lurking, always nearby.
Jealousy, for me, centres around my (and others’) life stage. I’m single and childless – and not by choice or expectation. I am frequently jealous of the “coupledness” of others. I am jealous of the sense of belonging and connection they experience within marriage – they have their ‘person’. I am jealous that others go home from things with or to partners and families and I go home alone. I sometimes literally ache with the desire to be a mum – to be a little person’s person.
That’s the default of my unchecked, undisciplined thought life. I really love my life as it is now. I love the freedoms and opportunities that are mine to enjoy in this season. It’s why I choose to FIGHT the jealousy rather than let it embitter me. But it is a constant wrestle, a daily choice; a battle not always won. Continue reading