A while back friends of mine invited me to dinner to introduce me to a Single male friend of theirs. I was more than happy to attend. I think there should be more of it!
Friends who host such introductions …
- provide socially dynamic, safe and helpful ways to make initial explorations of potential for further interaction
- give contextual understanding of the other person through the work/family/sport/church environment they know them from
- become an immediate overlap of the worlds of 2 otherwise strangers
- provide something of a “reference” for character and any sense of perceived compatibility
Singles – I know some will be uncomfortable with this idea but I encourage you to consider it as a natural function of community. It doesn’t need to be forced or uncomfortable. Have the conversation with people you trust and be open to the potential connections that could ensue.
Friends of Singles – don’t do this by surprise or stealth. Honesty about your intentions is good. Or at the very least, an honest conversation with all involved to ensure they are open to the idea and trust your knowledge of and care for them. When you’re dealing with adults understand that the outcome is not your responsibility. If, as two adults, your introduced friends choose not to go any further with the connection or after some time things go askew – it’s on them not you. If, for all you are able to know, they are both well-adjusted, independent and house-trained individuals then you make the introduction and allow them to make the next wise choice.
In teen and young adult stages of life there is a much more natural social community. As adulthood creeps in (real jobs or career focus, marriage, children etc) large group interactions or events where ‘new’ people are likely to be introduced become less frequent. It requires greater intentionality to continue to maintain social networks and particularly to consider those Singles who might still benefit from such environments.
Can I introduce you to my friend?
Think of it this way – you know and like me and you know and like him – this is a significantly positive start!
Go on. Why not give it a go? Ask the questions.
kimberly smith 
Hi Kim,
I need your help.
For years I went to church ( a church in northern Melbourne) on my own and my husband would stay at home.
Then finally a few years ago he started to come along.
Then it was all fine for a bit we both went along to church.
However, as he read the Bible more he came across some passages to be perfectly honest I never knew existed. They were about women not being able to preach and teach from Timothy and Corinthians and about elders having to be men who were husbands of one wife and able to teach from Titus I think it is.
At first I was shocked this was in the Bible but then after I while I figured he must be missing something as I had been positively impacted by female preachers.
He then stopped going for a bit and now goes somewhere on his own. I really don’t want to leave my church and don’t know what to do. It is really impacting our marriage.
Any advice?
my name is not sam I just don’t want my husband to know
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