I say to myself 

I talk to myself a fair bit. Sometimes out loud. There is a constant narrative – internal or external – of self-talk and ongoing attempts to give words to the things I’m seeing, experiencing and processing. 

You might be the same. You conduct whole conversations with yourself – playing both sides – asking and answering. You commentate your activity. You imagine what others might say to you. 

More often though, I find myself intensely impacted by what others are saying. I’m listening for affirmation. I’m waiting for direction or instruction. I’m hopeful for them to tell me I’m acceptable. I’m letting their talk define something of how I see myself, where my identity is found. 

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lam 3:24

I say to myself God is enough. He has all I need. His opinion of me is the one that matters. His guidance and His truth are my stay. 

I say to myself. I will wait on Him. I will trust. I will rest in His peace and provision. 

What do you need to say to yourself today? 

why you should remember nothing

In the opening pages of his book “Getting Things Done”, David Allen proposes that one of the keys to mind, task and stress management is to aim to remember nothing. 

I read it, several years ago now, and was pleased to be given a goal I could attain. Yes! I can do that. I do that already. I constantly forgot events, what I had to buy at the shops, the tasks I needed to achieve at work, that thing I promised to take to my friend – pretty much everything. 

“The goal is to not remember anything.”

Of course, he wasn’t advocating complete absent-mindedness or forgetfulness so much as an intentional way to remove from one’s mind the requirement to remember. 

Your mind doesn’t have a mind of its own. 

You know this because it’s often the case that we remember things at the wrong times. We remember that we need to buy milk while we’re sitting in the car but not while we’re standing in the middle of the supermarket wondering why we came in there (and filling a shopping basket with everything but milk). In the middle of the night we remember that we need to take cash for the parking meter but not when we’re walking out the door. 

Our brains don’t have their own filing systems and so if we do need to remember something our mind has to actively hold that data – making our brains more busy and increasing the chances of being overwhelmed by the quantity of information and, ultimately, the risk of forgetting a lot of things. 

The solution is reliable systems of information storage and reminders. 

Our brains will release the need to hold information if it knows that it has gone somewhere predictable and useful. That’s why writing things down in the middle of the night often allows you to go back to sleep. 

If you write something on a napkin at a restaurant and shove it in your pocket – your brain knows you may well forget that it’s there and send it through the wash. But if you enter it into a diary that you reference consistently, set an alarm on your phone, or add it to a list you actively engage with, your brain knows the information will be recalled and can then let go of it.

I credit this one idea as being nothing short of life changing. No jokes! It massively reduced the number of double-bookings or return trips to the shops but, more importantly, it also lifted the busyness from my mind. It made me feel less pressured. It shifted that feeling of “I think I’m meant to be doing something right now” and the frustration of poor time management leading to unnecessary pressure. 

You should try it. Try not to remember anything. 

Practically speaking for me it means I have everything in my calendar (synced to my phone) – I mean EVERYTHING. I have the same meeting every Monday morning at work but it’s in my calendar. If someone asks to meet with me or invites me to something I check my calendar and if it says I’m free, I’m free. I can trust it. 

I use my phone to remind me of all manner of things. My morning alarms have a notation that tells me what my first activity for the day is or what I need to take with me. Every event has reminders set before them (factoring in travel time) which means I can stay present where I am without fear of losing track of time. I have an active shopping list on my phone that I reference every time I’m at the shops (“extra” things like birthday presents as well as basics like groceries). 

There are all manner of apps and programs, and paper and digital aids that can help achieve the goal of not remembering anything. 

If it can free your brain – even just the slightest bit – surely it’s worth a go?

“12 thoughts of Christmas” #11: Looking Back

At the end of each year I have a staff review with my Senior Pastor, perhaps you do something similar at your work. We look at the year that was: highlights and challenges. We reflect on the things we’d identified as work areas for the year. We pause and acknowledge the growth and fruit that we see in me personally and in the various ministries and people I oversight as part of my role.

I’m terrible at it!! Because I can’t remember past the last few weeks!! It’s true. Before the meeting I go to other people in the office and in my life and say “help me out, what happened this year?!” It feels like the last month has enough happening to fill a list of highlights and challenges on its own!

Looking back is an essential part of doing life well. Without looking back we can be so consumed with the now that we lose sight of how far we’ve travelled and all that we’ve done, learnt, experienced, given, received, released, achieved and become. And most importantly, we neglect a great opportunity for gratitude and celebration!

Before the new year and all it contains consumes your time and brain space, can I encourage you to spend some intentional time looking back? Reflect on significant events and milestones. Acknowledge the difficult experiences you may have had – with your testimony being, at the very least, that you survived!! 🙂 Note the changes you saw in your family, your relationships, your children, your physical or work environments. Reflect on the impact you and your family were able to make in the lives of others – giving to charities or a sponsor child, serving at church, investing in your neighbours – it is always a privilege to be used to bring joy to others. Remember the new things you saw or tried, the traditions you started or continued, the skills you developed, the successes you achieved and the failures you recovered from.

There should be quite a list, but if you’re like me and have trouble remembering too much passed the recent weeks perhaps you could ask others to contribute to the discussion.

Pause to give God thanks for the year that was. Whether it’s a year that you’d love to do again or one you are happy to see the end of. Nothing is for nothing in God’s economy – everything you experienced will be used by Him to refine and strengthen you and to prepare you for the things that are in store.

Share your thankfulness with others. Display a “Top 10 list” on your fridge, post it on Facebook, share it in an email, write it in your diary … or even share it here below.