single – it’s a real thing!

| Kimberly Smith


One of the challenges of youth is that you start making decisions that can dramatically impact your future when you are least likely to be legitimately considering your future! It’s biologically true (in relation to brain development) but also just reality that without a very long personal history a young person’s capacity to consider their future is limited.

When dealing with these decisions that come up, I like to ask young people to try and picture what they hope their future holds because it’s really only in light of this that they can make choices that are heading them in a positive direction. What kind of person do you want to be? What activities would you be doing? Where would you be working? What kind of people would be in your world? … and which of these choices you’re considering would make that future more possible?

Everyone I do that exercise with imagines that they’ll be married. Everyone. Depending on age and how far into the future we’re projecting they might also be considering children. But even those who are not particularly interested in dating right now or still believe the opposite sex has ‘germs’ – when asked to picture their future, expect it to include a spouse.

It’s part of the narrative of life. It’s how humanity was created to continue. Attraction that leads to intimacy and oneness in marriage that leads to offspring who are attracted to others and get married and have offspring. It’s the ciirrrrrrrcle of liiiiiiiiife! (You sang that, I know you did!)

While that may be exactly how the future plays out for most – it’s not a guarantee for all. And even if it is in the future for our young people – it will not be the only or necessarily most significant part of what their future holds. And even if it is to be a significant part of their future – that may be some time away. So what about now? What about between now and then?

We need to develop a theology of Singleness.

EVERYONE is born Single. EVERYONE will remain Single for a significant portion of their lives (marry at 20 and live to 80 and you’re looking at 25%!!).

SINGLENESS IS A LEGITIMATE THING!

  • Created for relationship 

As sexual, relational beings (these things are not just switched on as a preparation for marriage) everyone is called upon to appropriately manage these desires and needs in their time of Singleness – however long that may be. The wrestle of youth is a volatile mix of raging hormones, developing emotions and relational immaturity. They are difficult times to navigate. But, also for the older Single, these needs and desires are God given – how are they to be met and managed when you’re not (or not yet) married?

  • Singleness is a valid life status

Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, advocates for Singleness. He says Single life is less complicated than married life (no need to amen that loudly, married people!!). He acknowledges that Singleness allows for a singleness of focus on God without the innate energy, time and heart-focus a married relationship requires. You don’t have to be Einstein to know that he’s right. I don’t believe Paul is saying NO ONE should be married (because he’s a smart guy too, he understood the circle of life even before Disney released the Lion King) but he is saying if you’re not there are some specific freedoms, privileges and graces that are part of that season. There’s some things you can do now that you might not be able to if you marry. A different kind of freedom in your time, finances, decision making, focus and availability.

  • Singleness is a season to be embraced

Ultimately, Singleness is one of many seasons that will make up a person’s life. Ecclesiastes 3 speaks about there being ‘a time for everything and a season for every activity’. Across a life time a person will experience all manner of seasons – times of preparation and study, times of success and achievement, seasons of ‘plenty’ and seasons of ‘lack’, times of ill-health, times of grief, times of celebration and exploration … you get the idea. Every season has its own lessons to teach us, pros and cons, opportunities and challenges. Given that life is just a collection of these seasons – end to end and overlapping, long and short, repeated or forgotten – in order for our life to be lived to its fullest each season must be embraced and maximised. Singleness is no exception.

It’s completely valid to desire marriage – God asks us to bring Him the desires of our hearts. I think we’d serve ourselves, one another and our young people well to let some of these thoughts about Singleness pepper our conversations, our prayers and our expectations.

 

my year as a professional Single 

| Kimberly Smith


I’m Single. No, like, REALLY Single! Oh, you’re Single too? Bet you’re not as Single as me!

I’m SO Single I wrote a book about it! (Truly! You can get a copy of it here!)

I’m SO Single I get invited to speak to groups about how to BE Single and how to care for Singles. (For real! You can book me here!)

I am, essentially, a professional Single. 

See, I am more Single than you. 

A year ago I was preparing for my first book related speaking gig. Steeling myself to step into the place of being “that Single girl” (read the blog about it here). 

While dealing with a familiar wave of self-doubt and insecurity over my abilities – I was also battling a stronger wave of resistance to stepping into that emerging role. The ‘professional Single’. 

I don’t want to be Single. I don’t want to be the expert on it. I don’t want to be known as that Single girl. I didn’t then. And I still don’t now. 

But here we are, 12 months into the journey, and I am so incredibly humbled by all I’ve got to be a part of in that time. The fabulous people I’ve met and communities I’ve been welcomed into. The champion leaders who’ve humbled themselves to learn and understand, the many who have read the book and been shifted in their attitudes and actions. That Dad of Single adult children, the Single-again parent, the leadership team, the young adult Single, the church community – multiple unique and moving stories of how God has used the message of the book or hearing me at an event or listening to me via a radio broadcast to encourage them or strengthen their understanding, empathy and ultimately, their relationships. 

It is my ongoing wrestle. So convicted of God’s call and sure in His anointing and yet so deeply desiring to be writing a different story – to be living a different kind of life. 

I said this a year ago and I affirm it again today. 

“So I will be “that Single girl” …and anything else He would ask me to be … trusting His timing, being confident in His calling. Even if I’d have chosen something else, I know He has chosen me for this and this for me.”

It has hurt and it has been hard – some of my loneliest moments have come on the back of these ministry opportunities – but the fruit is evident and the joy of partnering with Him in His greater work fuels me to ongoing obedience and surrender. 

Even if sometimes it’s through gritted teeth and clenched hands. 

I keep stepping out and moving forward. 

I am a professional, after all! 🙂

why people at church don’t talk to you

| Kimberly Smith


A friend and I have been known to run an experiment. When attending a different church, she leaves me alone in the foyer (to go to the bathroom or something) and we see if anyone will talk to me. It’s damaging to my pride, self-esteem and sense of confidence in my personal hygiene to report that – more often than not – when she returns, I’m standing where she left me feeling forlorn and having had no interactions with others.

As someone who leads in a church and desires that our environments be welcoming and inclusive for all – I run this experiment not just as a test of the church I’m visiting but to remember for myself what it feels like. To experience that awkwardness of trying to posture myself to look open to conversations or interactions without making a fool of myself. And as bad as it feels, I remember that my experiment is only partly accurate because I’m a visitor. Others coming into churches come because they are looking to find Jesus! Some come because they are desperately seeking a place of connection and belonging – of home. While I’m only there for one night. So much more is at stake for them.

Whilst I have received feedback from people who have felt a little ignored or adrift in our church, it’s more likely that those who feel this most poignantly haven’t stayed around to tell anyone – they’ve just left. You may relate to this experience in your own church environment. You look around and others are deeply engrossed in conversations and excited interactions and you wonder why you’re not included.

 

The reason people at church might not talk to you is because they are exactly like you!

They are uncomfortable talking to strangers. As an outgoing, verbal, extrovert I am uncomfortable talking to strangers! Most people are! People don’t talk to you because, just like you, they are unsettled about talking to people they don’t know. How awkward will this be? What if we have nothing in common? What if I inadvertently offend or upset them with what I say? What if they don’t want to talk to me!? EVERYONE is processing these same questions.

They are comforted by their own friends. There’s safety and security in the knowledge of their connection to their group of friends. And in fact, they may well be worried that if they don’t speak to these people no one else will speak to them and so they don’t leave the circle for fear of feeling that isolation. We are all creatures of comfort and security. Stepping away from the known and into the unknown requires a bravery that we don’t always manage to summon.

Someone once said to me “I never realised how cliquey people were until all my friends were away one week and no one spoke to me.” She didn’t even realise the irony of what she was saying. She only noticed that everyone else stuck to their friends when the friends that she stuck to weren’t around.

They wrongly assess their social position. Frequently, the socially insecure assume that everyone else is socially confident. The quiet and shy ones assume that the noisy ones are more bold and self-assured (when, often, it is just the same feelings manifesting in different coping strategies). Those unfamiliar in an environment assume that everyone else is quite familiar. Those who are more connected don’t trust their social connections enough to leave them temporarily to reach out to others.

Ultimately, the human condition is such, that we are all looking for a degree of connectedness and are all at the mercy of one another to find that place of belonging and welcome. New. Old. Loud. Quiet. No one is exempt from contributing to the social dynamic of a community.

*** A common cry. ***

“What if I go up to someone and say – Are you new here? – and they say – No, I’ve been coming for 3 years.”

OR what if you start your conversation a different way!?! (Genius, I know!)

“How are you today?” (Revolutionary, but effective.) “Are those your kids? Have you had a busy week? What’s ahead for you this week? How will you be spending your afternoon? Have you done the winter pruning of your fruit trees yet?” (Read – there are lots of other ways to start a question that don’t need you to guess how long they’ve attended your church!)

Or just a simple, “I don’t think I’ve met you before, I’m Kim!” might be enough.

The reason people in MY church don’t talk to you is because people like ME (and you) need to get better at it. We can do this!

 

I just want to be loved!

| Kimberly Smith

I watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette. There, I said it. It’s true. I do.

It’s a circus of surreal and unreal displays of fully grown adults literally competing for the attention and affection of another. Like, literally. Inevitably, every contestant has their ‘aha’ moment of realising that they are, in fact, literally competing with others for the attention and affection of another. This generally causes them to doubt themselves, their decision to go on the show, their worth as a human (particularly compared to the others) and, well, pretty much everything.

Ultimately, quite probably through tears, they will reveal what is really at stake for them.

“I just want to be loved!”

“Am I lovable? Will someone ever love me? What do I need to do to be loved?” These and other questions come spilling out that speak to the very depth of their cry, in fact, the cry of every human heart.

We are all looking for love. We all want to be loved. We all want to believe we are lovable.

It’s part of our creation design that we desire such deep and fulfilling, belonging and love. In the image of God we were created to find this need met in intimate relationship with Him. Instead, the brokenness of our sin leaves us with that void unfilled or partially filled and so we go searching. We look in right places and wrong places. We look to people, to substances, to success, to service, to wealth …everywhere and anywhere to know that we are loved and valued. To have that need met. To feel that rest in belonging and peace in affirmation and acceptance.

The need is strong and ultimately, it can lead us to do stupid things. It can lead us to obsess over perceived sources of this love. It can lead us to set aside wisdom and convention to pursue behaviours or spaces that see this need met. This need is the driving force of addictions like pornography, gambling, drugs & alcohol and workaholism. It can be an underlying cause of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders and self harm.

We just want to be loved.

For personal reflection … what does the need for love look like in your own life? Where do you go to meet those deep needs of your heart? What actions, behaviours or thoughts do you recognise stem from this need? 

how bright can you shine?

| Kimberly Smith


This is one of my all-time favourite quotes.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

– Marianne Williamson

I find it deeply challenging on a personal level and I think, if we truly absorb its message, it has much to say to us all. It is a commentary on culture as much as it is an encouragement to an individual.

Three thoughts …

  • “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”

In some ways, I think we can make an idol of timidity and shyness. It’s something that we not only excuse but sometimes even hold up as a virtue to be valued or aspired to. But it doesn’t serve the world. Holding back your gifts, your thoughts, your capacity or your passion because of shyness or some sense of self-consciousness or fear is robbing the world of the reason you are part of it! “You are made to SHINE as all children do – it’s not just in some, it’s in everyone!” This is not about arrogance and self-advancement, it’s about a genuine recognition that we all have something to offer the world and the capacity to make it better – for one, for many, for all. Playing small serves no one. Step up and bring your best. The world needs you.

  • “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”

In relation to my ‘single’ status, a well-meaning friend once said “Perhaps you’re too intimidating!? Maybe guys are put off by how confident and capable you are?” Really? So, what exactly ought I do about that? ‘Shrink’ so that I’m less intimidating? That’s not me, that’s not who I am, that’s not the best version of myself. But that IS what we can find ourselves doing and it is an expectation that we can – intentionally or not – convey to others. What might it look like to create a culture where no one has to shrink? Where everyone is championed for their unique capacity to contribute beauty, creativity, joy and wisdom as they are able. Where each of us deals with our own jealousy, insecurity and intimidation rather than allows those things to inhibit our celebration and support of others.

  • “As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same… our presence automatically liberates others.

I am so thankful for the people in my life who have given me permission to shine my light and foundational to that, helped me identify what that light actually looks like or the potential for influence and impact it contains. I have been inspired by the example of other ‘light-shiners’ and encouraged to be one who gives others permission to shine brightly. Getting alongside others in similar life circumstances to those I’ve experienced, championing young people as they wrestle with the challenge of their emerging adulthood, encouraging others in identifying, developing and employing their gifts and skills; intentionally liberating others to shine brightly. I get excited when I imagine communities full of people doing this for one another. Not just ‘unconsciously’ but with great purpose.

Are you a ‘shrinker’? What can you do to shift your posture and boldly shine your light? Are you ‘insecure’? Preventing others from shining too brightly lest they push your jealousy or intimidation buttons.
Are you a ‘permission’ giver? How are you encouraging those around you to shine at their brightest?

talking with your kids about sex

| Kimberly Smith

Where did you learn about the birds and the bees? Do you remember your parents giving you “the talk”? Did most of your learning come from friends, the graffiti on toilet cubicle walls, movies and TV, or maybe your best friend’s super-cool older siblings?

One of the most significant areas of discipleship and leadership we offer our children is in the area of sexuality and relationship – and yet, they can be some of the most awkward or feared conversations of all.

Here are some thoughts to consider – part of a broader conversation that I host with parents – to help empower you for this potentially uncomfortable yet intensely important aspect of your parenting role.

1. do the personal work 

Each of us has a unique perspective on the topics of sexuality and relationship that is heavily influenced by our own life experience. Our ability to lead children in healthy and helpful ways is impacted by the degree to which we have reviewed and processed our own upbringing and history.

If you were sexually abused or mistreated you may pass on fears and stigmas that are unhelpful. If you have had negative experiences or made significant mistakes in your own past, this will impact how you approach these topics with your child. If you have had a sheltered or extremely conservative upbringing you may pass on uninformed opinions or ideologies. If you had multiple relationships or sexual partners, if you were a pregnant teenager (or made a teenager pregnant), if you had an abortion, if you had early exposure to pornography, if you’ve struggled with sexual addiction … all this and more SHAPES your perspectives, understanding and feelings about sexuality and relationship.

In humility, parents must to do the work of review. We are doomed to either repeat the actions of our own parents or react to them (and do exactly the opposite) – for better or worse – unless we stop and review what that looked like and make sober decisions about its validity or usefulness. Our own experiences can be redeemed when we allow them to inform and educate others to make better choices.

2. know where you’re headed 

What do you hope for for your kids? What do you understand of the goal or intent of their sexuality? What type of relationships do you hope they’ll experience? How do you want them to perceive their own body and manage it? What empowerment or wisdom do you want them to be armed with? What situations do you want them to navigate intelligently and safely? How do you wish them to honour and respect others?

Knowing where you’re headed makes the pathway there more clear and more intentional.

The more ‘simple’ outcomes of saving themselves for marriage or protecting themselves from abuse or regret are a starting point, but there has to be more to your focus than that. Beyond the messages of “don’t” and “no” we have to endow our children with a sense of the beauty and joy that sexuality and relationship are designed to bring us and others in our world. Part of our created design includes this aspect of our beings and, as such, it is more than just a set of rules and guidelines that will help our children navigate the murky waters of culture and desires. It is a well shaped understanding of who they are, what God has in store for them and how they might ensure they are experiencing the fullness of His intent.

3. talk, don’t have ‘the talk’ 

It may be stating the obvious, but you’re not going to get this done in one conversation. It doesn’t matter how good that conversation is, how long it goes for or how many incentives are offered with it. One chat over milkshakes is not going to cover everything, it’s not going to accommodate for changing needs and cognition with age, it’s not going to give opportunity for all questions to be asked or all teachable moments to be explored. This is an ongoing conversation. Sorry for those of you who thought you were done! 😉

Make the most of opportunities that present to continue to shade in the big picture understanding you desire your kids to have. Ensure that each time you do talk about these kinds of topics it is left open-ended – ‘we can talk about this some more whenever you want’ or ‘if you think of other things later, be sure to come and ask me’. Engage with TV, media, overheard conversations, events in your family, song lyrics and the like to leverage opportunities to know where your child is and to keep the dialogue happening.

For some tips about talking to your kids about porn – check out this article  For further development of your awareness and language check out this site Fight the New Drug.

4. help your child translate culture 

We live in a highly sexualised world. It’s not sensationalising to make that observation, it’s just how it is. In fact, it is so sexualised we can often be immune to the various ways overt or distorted sexuality permeates our culture.

Rising proliferation and exposure to pornography has changed the water line and we are now soaking in a highly ‘pornified’ environment that requires our intentional identification and rejection. In sociological circles, pornography is considered to be the number one sexual educator of our children. Young people are being exposed to pornography often before they’ve had their first crush or their first kiss. Pornography has continued to become more and more violent and aggressive and less and less (if it ever were at all) reflective of intimate, romantic, private expressions of love.

This article draws attention to the pornography inspired images that are common-place in marketing and advertising. A walk through a shopping centre or a flick through a mainstream magazine will see multiple examples of these images. This website Collective Shout promotes advocacy around issues of objectification – it’s useful for raising your awareness as well as empowering you to be part of the response.

We need to help our children reflect on the things they see around them and to decipher the messages they are being sent and whether or not they are to be accepted or rejected. At age appropriate levels it may be as simple as wondering aloud with your child as to why a lady might look so unhappy in a picture – do you think she is having fun, do you think she is liking what is happening to her? To observing in more mature ways the submission-dominance interplay, the perception of a model as an object more than a person, the idiocy of a promotional picture that has no point of reference to the product or service it is purporting to promote.

***

This is a teaspoon of thought from an ocean of ideas, understandings and considerations that we need to continue to drink from – but it’s a start.

ASK THE QUESTIONS … what do you struggle to help your children understand? What approaches have you tried that you’ve found successful? What resources have you found useful?

your teen needs you!

| Kimberly Smith

There are times in the parenting (or leading and teaching) journey when this feels far from true. Your teen may not LOOK like they need you, they might not ACT like they need you and they may even SAY they don’t need you! But they do.

The cry of the teenage/emerging-adult heart is for relationships and community where three things are present – Trust, Respect and Belief. Sociologists report this drive as the key factors behind gang or ‘bikie’ culture. Such is the need of the heart that it draws a person to connection and belonging ANYWHERE these things are present. It’s true of adults too – but (hopefully) there is a greater degree of discernment to determine whether the presence of trust, respect and belief outweighs any negatives about the people or culture who are offering them.

Let’s unpack these three factors further.

TRUST

What they want …Teens want to be trustworthy but they also want to believe they are capable of trustworthiness and so will crave actions and communication that demonstrate this trust and confidence.

What they fear… Questioning their decision-making skills, their ability to consider all outcomes and options, or their self management or control, translates as an absence of trust.

What to try…

  • Give ample time and opportunity for your teen to explain what they do know and what they have considered (rather than assuming they haven’t really thought things through).
  • Ask questions or use hypothetical scenarios to extend  their awareness of potential outcomes and concerns and grow their consideration.
  • Express your desire to ‘assume the risk’ for the unknown or potential consequences of a decision rather than burdening them with that when their experience or vision is limited. In other words, sometimes a parent needs to be the one who decides because the decision and its outcomes are too weighty for a young person to have to bear.

BELIEF

What they want… In the face of sometimes crippling self-doubt, insecurity, fear of the future and competition teens will gravitate to people and places where they are encouraged to dream big dreams and imagine an extraordinary future.

What they fear… Youth are constantly wondering if they really have what it takes to succeed in life (aren’t we all!). They don’t have the history or experience of seeing how things will play out and so their capacity to predict the future is limited. They are highly sensitive to any inference from adults in their world that what they hope for or are aiming for in their future is not possible.

What to try…

  • Check any language that overloads current decisions or actions with future impact (“if you don’t do well at school you’re not going to have opportunities in work later”). Of course all choices and actions have consequences but then all consequences have options, grace and capacity for recovery. Finite, exaggerated or fatalistic language will scream dis-belief.
  • Encourage aspects of character, attitude and heart that, if they continued to develop them, will open up a world of opportunities to live a productive and impact-ful future.

RESPECT

What they want… As teens transition into adulthood, they are super sensitive to insinuations of immaturity. While they fight for independence they want adults around them to start seeing them as emerging adults and treating them accordingly.

What they fear… Commonly the language and tone we use when talking to young people is quite different to how adults would talk to peers. We can present as quite condescending and they feel that we are unable to see them as anything other than a child.

What to try… 

  • Ask the question “How would I handle this situation if this were a co-worker or peer rather than a teen?” (For example, if a coworker knocked a drink over at a meal table we’d probably be quite quick to help them feel ok about the mishap rather than chastise them for their behaviour.)
  • What actions or statements can you change or add to your interactions that communicate respect of their property or privacy, of their opinions and perspectives, and of their insecurities and fears?
  • Consider how you could deescalate a situation by prioritising respect – both given and received.

How about you?
How have you seen this need for Trust, Belief and Respect manifest in your teens? What do you recall of your struggle with this in your own journey into adulthood? How might you leverage this knowledge to bring greater connection with your teen?

 

3 things you can do on the mountain top to help you through the valley

| Kimberly Smith

If you’ve been alive for more than 7 minutes you know that life is a series of highs and lows, good and bad, adventure and monotony, abundance and scarcity, mourning and celebrating … and everything else in between and beside. In the knowledge that hard times have been and will come, an expression of our growing maturity and self-leadership is how we might utilise our ‘mountain top’ times to prepare us for the ‘valleys’.

1. Develop your theology 

Often a ‘valley’ experience can lead us to question. Where is God? Why is He ‘doing’ this to me? What have I done wrong?

But in our mountain top moments we can work to establish a solid sense of God in everything, an understanding of how He works; a trust in His heart and activity towards us that is not altered by our circumstances. A robust faith includes a way to see suffering and trials. It includes a way to interpret God’s blessing and provision that is equally applicable for us in a Western culture as it may be for someone living in a developing nation or less privileged circumstances.

How do you answer the question “why do bad things happen to good people?” Because if you can answer that in your seasons of rejoicing, those truths might just sustain you when the mourning or challenge comes.

2. Embed your disciplines

What we sow into our life and heart by way of disciplines in ‘easier’ times becomes the well we draw from in the more difficult seasons.

Disciplines such as prayer, praise, gratitude, mentorship, giving, reading the Bible and journaling have varying parts to play for each of us in the intimacy of relationship we experience with God. Through these things we learn to know His voice and be sure of His presence.

In difficult times the ease with which we turn to God or can hear or see Him above our circumstances will be enhanced by what we have sown in our mountain top moments.

3. Learn from others 

Sometimes valley experiences are the consequences of choices or perhaps a lack of preparation for something that could have been foreseen. (Strong emphasis on ‘sometimes’.)

When we see someone travelling through that kind of valley we would do well to learn from it rather than repeat it ourselves.

What choices did they make? What outcome of a decision or action had they not anticipated? What responses have they chosen in the valley that seem to have extended the time they’ll spend there?

From our mountaintop view we can have a clarity of a valley experience that can fuel better choices and proactive processing that might allow us to avoid that season altogether. A lesson learned from someone else’s pain and difficulty is a lesson well-learned.

As I always say, if you’re going to make mistakes at least make new ones! 😉

***

Of course, each of these things can (and must) be done even when we are IN the valley. But the energy and intentionality we invest in our ‘mountain top’ moments can dramatically impact the length and depth of those ‘valley’ experiences.

How about you? What have you sown in the mountain top seasons that you’ve found bearing fruit in the valley experiences? What disciplines or practices have you employed to sustain you in faith and joy when the valley moments come?

a lesson from tap dancing lessons

| Kimberly Smith

A most exciting development occurred at Monday night’s Tap Dancing Class.

A new girl joined!

Do you appreciate what that means? It means that I am no longer the new girl! I’m not the least experienced. I’m not the most lost!

It came alive for me when we started doing warm up drills and I was in the “you girls keep going” group – not Miss Abbie’s “let me walk you through that in slow motion” group.

Looking across at the deer in the headlights expression on the new girl’s face I was awash with empathy. I know that feeling, I know that fear!

But the second wave of feeling was the growing realisation that I had advanced in my own skills – not just when compared to the new girl – in and of myself. I could do the drills that Miss Abbie was giving us. I could look ahead at where I was going not just down at my feet (to check if they were doing the right thing, you can never be too sure!) I was able to go fast enough to work up a sweat and feel the strain in my muscles. The clickety clack of my taps were vaguely rhythmical and consistent.

Yay for development! Yay for progress!

We went on to practising the routine and, although happy with my recall and general ability to keep up, there were still those parts that I haven’t quite got right yet. And we’re not even half way through the song, there is still much more choreography to learn, remember and master. But it was a nice little moment to pause and reflect on how far I’ve come.

There’s this week’s encouragement from my tapping adventures. Pause a moment. Take a quieting breath. Look around. There still might be lots to learn and more to improve – but look how far you’ve come! Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, just compare you then to you now – you last week, you a year ago; you this morning.

Philippians 1:6 He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it.

Happy tapping! 🙂