the power of gossiped encouragement

| Kimberly Smith


None of us is immune to the positive power of encouragement. 

I’m not talking about empty praise – I’m talking about true encouragement. Words that give courage through genuine affirmation of repeatable actions and admirable qualities. Or the steadying empowerment of a well-timed and well-meant “you’ve got this!” There’s nothing like encouragement to inspire and energise us; to champion us on to better and greater. 

Encouragement doesn’t count until it’s spoken. 

It might sound obvious but just because you’ve thought encouraging things doesn’t mean you’ve encouraged someone. In fact many live in the discomfort of being unsure about themselves, their performance or their contribution because encouragement remains uncommunicated. You have to say it. Write it. Sing it. Post it. Convey it with a high five or a knee squeeze. Don’t hold it in. 

Okay. Let’s assume you’ve got that part sorted (yeah?) the next step is gossiped encouragement. 

Gossiped encouragement magnifies personal encouragement. 

Let’s say Dave does something particularly great. I tell him. I let him know what was so great and how I or others were impacted by the greatness. He’s chuffed. 

But then I bump into Steve and I say “Steve, you won’t believe how great a job Dave did – let me tell you all about it.” Steve is pleased for Dave. 

Then Steve catches up with Dave and casually mentions that he’s been talking to me and heard great things about the job Dave did. Dave’s sense of chuffed-ness just went through the roof. 

Dave realises I must have really meant what I said. I haven’t just said it to his face, I’ve repeated it to others. I get to esteem Dave in the eyes of his mate Steve. And for me personally, I’ve spread a bit of positivity and communicated something of what I value and appreciate  too. 

So there’s two simple steps for us to follow when the opportunity comes to encourage someone. 

1. Do it!  

Don’t hold it in. Communicate with content and purpose the encouragement-worthy attributes or actions of others. 

2. Tell someone else!

Multiply the power of encouragement by gossiping it to others. Speak to their parents, friends, coworkers, spouse or team-mates. Give others a chance to appreciate their encouragement-worthiness too. 

Go on. Do it now. 

Who should you encourage RIGHT NOW? 

Who else can you tell? 

the discipline of preparing for an unknown future 

| Kimberly Smith


On January 15, 2009, Captain Sully (Chesley Sullenberger) was at the controls of US Airways flight 1549 out of La Guardia airport New York. Not long after take-off the plane struck a flock of geese causing the immediate loss of both engines. 

After following all the emergency procedures, including mayday communications with the control tower, Sully determined their safest option was to do a water landing on the Hudson River off Manhattan. 

There were 208 seconds between the engines failing and the plane successfully landing on the river – saving all 155 passengers and crew. 208 seconds. Less than 3.5 minutes. Where, in an unprecedented situation – not predicted or specifically prepared for, Captain Sully had to make decisions and execute actions that had weighty consequences. The lives of all on board – and potentially many on the ground had the wrong decision been made – were in his hands. 

He summarised it this way… 

“One way of looking at this might be that for 42 years, I’ve been making small, regular deposits in this bank of experience, education and training. And on January 15, the balance was sufficient so that I could make a very large withdrawal.”

Discipline. Many years of discipline. Showing up. Training. Learning. Doing. Watching. Teaching. Discipline. 42 years of multiple unspectacular flights and potentially tedious safety reviews and refresher courses. 42 years becoming sure of his own skill, an aircraft’s capacity and his crews’ competency. 42 years of delivering over a million passengers safely to their destinations with little acknowledgement beyond his pay check.

Discipline. 

For you feeling stuck in the mundane. These small deposits are shaping your life. Doing your best today. Growing, learning, adapting, persevering. This is the substance you’ll draw upon when the stretch comes, when life is difficult. 

For you in the bumper times. This is the time of filling and preparing. This is the time of storing up – joy, confidence, habits, attitudes and character that will sustain you and others in times of hurt, confusion and doubt. 

For you in the 208 seconds. Pause and recall what you know outside of this time of pressure and intensity. Remember your “experience, education and training“. Lean in to the strength that has been deposited in you knowing God’s power will be manifest in your weakness. 

LOVE YOUR BODY for what it can do

| Kimberly Smith

I was a super active kid. My Dad jokes that I never got in trouble from him because I never stood still long enough to be told off!

I started in gymnastics when I was 4 and my coach called me Elastic Girl. I loved athletics and had long-held records for high jump and long jump in my primary & secondary schools. As a teen I could “sit & reach” 24cm beyond my toes. I played every school sport a girl could play – spending many days at inter-school competitions for volleyball, hockey (!), softball, tennis – you name it! I made it to district and state competitions in swimming and athletics. I was AIS coached for hurdles. I loved to dance. I had great explosive strength and speed and was also highly flexible. 

I would race my brothers on the beach in summer or on bikes around the court where we lived. I loved swimming but would spend most of my water time trying to beat my “number of somersaults under water” record or perfecting back flips off the edge. 

I don’t remember ever thinking about my body for anything other than its functionality. And for that, I loved it. I was strong and fit. Agile and athletic. 

My thighs & glutes were large and muscly which made shopping for pants difficult, and my arms weren’t thin like my friends rather they were defined and my shoulders were too broad for some tops. But I was able to rationalise that in my mind. Those clothes were made for thin girls, not athletic girls. I’d find another style more suitable. 

It wasn’t until I was in my late teens and early twenties that I started to consider a different perspective. When “athletic” became code for overweight. When not fitting into certain clothes became more about not fitting in. When the opinions of others filtered through to make me self-conscious. When I was told I couldn’t attend an event because I wasn’t attractive enough. When someone told me I looked chunky in my basketball uniform. 

I suffered with an eating disorder for almost 8 years – the consequences of which lingered longer still. 

I’ve been thinking about this as I sit by a pool on holidays feeling particularly fat. There’s no where to hide when it comes to swimwear and there’s no shortage of slim and taught bodies to show me what the other can look like. And there’s truth to it, I am overweight. There’s no denying that I’m carrying more weight than is healthy for my frame. 

But then I remembered. I remembered the 30 minutes of rock scaling around the island’s point, the multiple 40 min bike rides in scorching heat and up killer inclines. I remembered that despite some aches and pains I’ve walked thousands of steps each day, I’ve perched on the back of a motorcycle; swum in a pool. I love what my body can do. I want to shed weight so my body can DO more without pain or restriction. 

Young girls – love your body for what it can do! It can cartwheel and flip. It can run and leap and twirl. Love your strong legs and your powerful lungs. Love your energy. Love your freedom. Love your balancing and stretching. Love your brain and your smile. Love that your arms can give squeezy hugs and throw a ball and build things. 

Women – love your body for what it can do. Love that it carries your heart and sustains your ability to love and give generously. Love that it feeds your mind and leads you to ingenuity and creativity. Love that it can grow an entire human person and push it out and sustain its life – your body is amazing! Love that it can walk and ride and jump and dance. Love that it can self-heal (it can self-heal people!!!). Love the fatigue it feels from busy days, the blissful feeling of rest or a nice hot cleansing shower. 

Love your body for what it can do. 

Encourage others to love their bodies for what they can do. Let’s raise a generation of young women who love what their bodies can do more than what they can look like. 

What do you love that your body can do?! 

Go on. 

Say it. 

being who you needed 

| Kimberly Smith


When you think back to your younger years you can, no doubt, identify the people who were most influential in your life …and also the glaring absences of significant adult input in areas you perhaps needed them most. 

“Be the kind of person you needed when you were younger.”

This quote resonates with me as a way to frame our reflections to position us to be the best navigators we can be (you can read more about that here – navigating life’s rough water). As we consider what we EXPERIENCED and also what we LACKED we can be more dialled in to those things in the young people entrusted to our care – be they family, friends, students or members of our ministries. 

  • Someone to validate (and help me understand) my personality

I spent most of my teen and young adult life being criticised for my personality. You’re so loud! Why are you always so happy? Stand still! Stop being so dramatic and exaggerating. I came to accept that my personality was innately flawed. There was no one else like me so there must be something wrong with me. I oscillated through varying degrees of resignation and defensiveness. 

If I could speak to my younger self I would tell her that her Tigger-ness is a gift. That her capacity to see and bring joy and celebration is needed in this world. That her optimism and enthusiasm bring light and life to those around her. I would tell her that she can learn about time, place and volume in order to not inflict herself upon others in negative ways. I would tell her that others aren’t like her and she needs to understand them and help them understand her. 

  • Someone who asked questions about who I was hoping to become

Teenagers don’t have the capacity to see very far into the future. That’s not a criticism, it’s a natural function of their forming brain. Teens are not able to perceive consequences to choices, to see value in waiting for a better option or to understand how each decision they make is shaping the person they will become. 

If I could speak to my younger self  I would ask her to keep describing and refining the future she sees or hopes for. Who she wants to be – family, work, faith, reputation, character, relationships. So that she would have a filter to process decisions and reactions through. Does this lead you to who you want to be? Does this shape your character and your reputation in a positive way? She may not listen to me – but that wouldn’t stop me asking!

  • Someone who could help me understand myself. 

When I was 11 my Dad left our family and, of course, I felt the impact. Part of my response was to be quite needy of male attention and affection and so I fought really hard to get it. I joke (with embarrassment) that I could “flirt for Australia” such was my competency at eliciting the kind of response my heart was seeking from guys. 

If I could speak to my younger self I would tell her that she is enough on her own and that she will never find what her heart is really craving in the places she is looking. I would help her to not let the vulnerabilities of her heart lead her to bad choices and regret. 

  • Someone who identified and encouraged me into my gifts 

Growing up I was blessed to have people who released me to explore my giftings and passions. I was only 15 when I led worship for the first time in our church and younger than that when I was given responsibility for the babies and toddlers ministry. I was constantly affirmed for my natural capacity to engage with kids and given leadership roles at school. I was given scope to explore my sporting abilities and also those in musical arts. 

If I could speak to my younger self I would remind her how blessed she was to have those opportunities and keep encouraging her to maximise the chances to experiment and engage. I would mentor her more intentionally to learn and grow in her understanding of God’s hand on her life and His desire to use her for His Kingdom purposes. 

What about you? How do you reflect on the people you had or needed when you were younger? How might that shape the way you invest in younger people in your world?

finding beauty in brokenness

| Kimberly Smith


I was recently introduced to the art of broken pot gardens. 


As the name suggests, broken pots are upcycled into mini tiered gardens. Using the pieces of broken pot to create retaining walls, steps and other features. Some are transformed into magical fairy gardens with toadstools and miniature houses. 

When a pot is broken we generally consider it useless. It can no longer fulfil its purpose.

But these broken pot gardens are such a beautiful metaphor for the way God works in the brokenness of our lives. And this metaphor was made all the more powerful for me given the context I was in when I heard it. 

I was observing a team serving in a Girls Juvenile Prison in Thailand. There were more than 20 girls in the session – most of them incarcerated for drug related offences, some for prostitution; some for theft. Two of them were pregnant, there were two mums breastfeeding babies. 

So much brokenness.

The leader spoke of how we can feel like our brokenness disqualifies us from a life of purpose. How it can seem our bad choices or things that have happened to us can render us useless or leave our life in pieces.

She showed pictures of the broken pot gardens. They were beautiful. Ornate. Lush and healthy. So creative and imaginative.

Brokenness isn’t the end of the story. Your brokenness can be turned into something beautiful. Your life may not look like it was anticipated to look but that doesn’t make it useless or worthless. 

Perhaps there’s a message in that for you today. What is being made of the broken pieces of your life? What beauty is being created to make something of the damage, wounding and disappointment? 

shaping worship culture

| Kimberly Smith


“I think the worship has become too much about performance.” “Did you see the guitarist this morning, what does he think this is, a rock concert?” “Can we go back to the days when worship was about praising God and not all this production stuff?”

You may have heard these comments and others like it – or at least identified or felt the sentiment – the criticism that worship in song is about performance. Or perhaps just comments about worship in general. As one of the more visible aspects of our Sunday church gatherings it seems to cop a high degree of opinion and, ultimately, criticism. Song style, song choice, drums, volume, musicianship, lyrics …it all gets critiqued and reviewed. 

Here’s some of my least favourite comments. 

  • “I think the worship team is a little too obsessed with excellence.”

Of course we use skilled musicians and singers! We don’t let just anyone do maintenance on our building, lead in our kids ministry or cook for our gatherings – we get the ones who can do it to do it! Just because worship teams are up on stage doesn’t mean excellence equals showmanship. 

A worship team exists to lead us in worship, to carry our praises, to draw us to greater love and adoration of God – one of their main tasks is to not be a distraction. Musicians and singers can inadvertently draw our attention to themselves when there is a shortfall in their skill. 

“Kenaniah the head Levite was in charge of the singing; that was his responsibility because he was skillful at it.” ‭‭1 Chron‬ ‭15:22‬ ‭

  • “They’re too focused on performance.”

How on earth can we judge that from our pew? What do we know of the state of the heart of a singer or musician that could lead us to make that assessment? Undoubtedly there are people who can become (or appear) overly concerned about how they look or act on stage – but I’m not sure we are ever in a position to know for sure that their love for God or heart for worship have been superseded by that. 

“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Sam 16:7

And as a part B to that – everyone in the church determines the worship culture of that church. Everyone. If you are a spectator, you’ll be feeding a ‘performance’ culture. If you are a true worshipper you can lead from the floor in a way that influences those on stage and around you. Your posture in worship as much as your comments to others afterwards shape the attitude and expectations of people around you. We need to all take responsibility for the worship environment of our churches.

  • “They’re trying too hard to be modern or relevant.”

Those songs that we hold up as traditional were once deemed to be controversial because they were too enmeshed with culture. Much of what we now know as hymns (a word taken from scripture referring to music more generally that is now immortalised as a specific genre or style of music) were theology set to local folk tunes and melodies as a way to help illiterate people gain access to the gospel message. 

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him. Psalm 40:3

Sing to the LORD a new song … Psalm 96:1 

We are to be always singing a new song. A fresh response of praise and worship to God. It should be flavoured with the sound of a new generation, speaking the language of their hearts and encouraging them to learn their own way of worshipping God. Just as was afforded to us each in our generation.

  • “He/she is only in it for the fame.” 

Let’s be honest. A 7:30am start on a Sunday morning for a non-paid playing spot in front of a couple of hundred people who are often vocal in their critical review is not where you’ll find musos looking for their big break. They are there because they love Jesus and they love you enough to serve with their best. 

Can we not be “those” people who complain and criticise? Can we be people who trust our church leadership to steward worship in context to God’s leading of us as a faith community? Can we be champions of those who faithfully serve our churches and also not be long-distant judges of the Church? Can we be active contributors to dynamic, authentic worshipful gatherings and be positive culture-shapers? Can we seek to understand and support one another in our pursuit of true worship and God encounters? 

does what you DO define you?

| Kimberly Smith

David Boudia & Steele Johnson are the American synchronised platform diving team who won a silver medal in the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio. 


In their post-dive interview the sports journalist asked them how they were able to maintain their composure so well when they were diving off a 10m high platform in their undies (I added the bit about their undies). Steele responded 

“Knowing my identity is rooted in Christ not in what the result of this competition is just gave me peace.”

What an awesome response! 

I guess ultimately, one of the ways to control nerves at the point of performance is to pretend that what you’re about to do doesn’t matter. That’s made all the more easy when, in context to the bigger picture, it actually doesn’t. 

Contrast that with other athletes and commentators whose statements seem to infer that a person’s whole life came down to this moment. Where so much more than a win or loss was at stake. Where so much more of their identity was wrapped up in the outcome of their performance or in their status as an athlete. 

When a person’s identity is firmly grounded in God everything shifts. When we look to performance, success, relationships, wealth or possessions for our sense of who we are we are forced to do whatever is necessary to protect and maintain those things. If who you are is a diver, then that one dive has the power to make or break you. When you know who you are in Christ, the outcome of a dive can’t define or disturb that. 

It is just a dive. 

Question: Is there something that you do or have that has become something that defines you rather than just something that you do or have? 

skin hunger – our need for physical intimacy

| Kimberly Smith


I love massages!! Any kind. Feet. Head. Crazy Thai ones where they stretch and contort your body like a pretzel. Soothing oil ones with dolphin music playing. I like getting my nails done. I love getting my hair washed or done. 

I love physical touch. It’s a weird statement to make but an acknowledgement of truth that is perhaps more pertinent in context to my status as a living-alone Single. Ultimately, all of those things above are more than just self-pampering, they’re a means to have my skin hunger somehow satiated. 

Skin hunger is a need for physical touch – not necessarily sexual in nature. It is a studied phenomena in psychology. Unmet skin hunger has been associated with failure to thrive in babies and infants, and increased anxiety, depression, stress and sleep dysfunction in children and adults. Each individual will have a different level of skin hunger and consequently, the absence of physical touch will be felt more acutely by those whose need is greater. 

Some stages and styles of life are innately more rich in physical contact. Living arrangements that involve others will almost always include physical touch – perhaps of an intimate or sexual nature, maybe because of the presence of small children being nursed, held and wrestled with, or even in the more incidental contact that happens as people work together in the kitchen or move around each other in the bathroom. Certain work environments are more physical – various fields of medicine and therapy, working with children, or coaching certain sports.

Physical touch affirms my presence. It is one thing to grasp my own hand or rub my own neck – but it is different to experience those things externally. It’s a tangible recognition that I hold a place in the physical realm; that I relate kinaesthetically to other people and things around me. 

Physical touch releases hormones that increase wellbeing and decrease stress. 

Physical touch communicates non-verbally a sense of belonging and connection. 

What does physical touch look like for a Single person? 

How is skin hunger appropriately satisfied in non-sexual or romantic contexts?

As I mentioned, I am a physical touch kind of person. I’m likely to grab your arm while I’m talking to you. I will normally go in for a hug and a cheek kiss when greeting someone I know. I love love love (love love) holding babies – especially soothing them to sleep. I love little person hugs and high fives. I even like the absent minded touches kids do when they’re talking to you – playing with your hair or leaning against your leg. I love big hugs from big people – I make sure my Dad gives me a couple every time I see him. For some, pets are a large part of their skin-hunger-meeting regimen. 

Skin hunger is connected with our need for intimacy and equally needs to be met in healthy and helpful ways or we will find ourselves seeking to satisfy it inappropriately. Identifying the degree of skin hunger we feel is important to being able to manage it intentionally. 

What does that look like for you? Or for those in your world? 

navigating life’s rough water

| Kimberly Smith


Have you ever been whitewater rafting? Its a high adrenalin activity where you jump in an inflatable raft and hurtle down a river. The whitewater or rough patches of water come where high current waters hit rocks, obstacles and banks and, when combined with significant drops, they make navigation quite difficult. It’s considered an extreme sport. 
When you make the decision to pay someone to let you risk your life in this fashion, you are given a guide or a navigator. He or she gives you the basic instructions and lets you know the directions they’ll be shouting at you as they try and get you to the end of the river run in one piece. 

A friend and I had this experience in New Zealand a few years back. The water was freezing and the terror real in amongst the patches of smooth water where we floated merrily along and were able to take in the stunning views and peaceful surrounds. 

I think in life as in whitewater rafting the role of navigator or guide is crucial. But I think in life, we are much less attuned to our need to have one or be one – in whitewater rafting there’s a sense your life depends on the guide – you’re listening and responsive!

Parents, mentors, teachers, leaders and anyone older or more experienced than ourselves can be as life impacting as a navigator guiding us down a dangerous river. 

“Up ahead there is a sharp drop and then the current will want to pull us left … When you hear me call it, we’re going to want all of us at the back of the raft and then we’re going to be ready to paddle out.” The navigator has been down this river before. The navigator has tried or seen different ways to handle this potential danger spot and has some tips on how to get through it most safely. The navigator knows and embraces their role to keep all participants safe while also letting them have an exciting adventure. 

There is nothing that we encounter on the ‘river’ of life that others haven’t seen or experienced before us. What a tragedy it is as adults to watch young people fall into the same traps, be surprised by the same big drops or to be so furiously paddling through smooth waters they don’t take time to enjoy them. 

We need to embrace our role as navigators for anyone who would come behind us. Yes, there is a need for people to sometimes learn through experience of failure or error but to let others fly head long into what we know to be dangerous or damaging without at least giving a shout out is neglectful and, well, mean. 

We need to nurture relationships that position us to be influential voices in another’s life. I feel like my greatest success in this area has come through honest sharing of my failures and wounding. I once had a young person say of a particular part of their journey that was similar to mine “I just want to make sure I don’t do what you did” – it stung a little, but ultimately? I don’t want them to do what I did either. 

We need to invite the navigator to speak into our lives and circumstances. We need to embrace with humility the learning and wisdom others can impart from their journey.